The older I get, the more I listen to those around me. As I listen, I hear heart wrenching stories of lost love, broken families, and petrified children. This breaks my heart. Children are being exposed to situations younger and younger, and it literally pains me. Listening to stories of children being afraid for the lives of those around them, based on decisions being made by those who are supposed to be the “adults” in the situation, infuriates me. A child should not have to say “No, Daddy, I’m not getting in the car with you because you have been drinking.” What is this world we live in?
When did this become the norm? When did children become the buffer in relationships? When did marriage become such a joke? What is a functional relationship? I’m in a relationship, and I am so incredibly happy. There are days I feel like I might just explode from it. That being said, sometimes I feel like I might not even want to get married… Ever.
As far back as I can remember I have wanted to be a wife and a mom. I want to be a teacher, and then come home to a house and cook dinner for my husband and children. I want to put my children to bed and grade my papers. I have all these goals, but honestly I feel like marriage has become a ritual. It doesn’t mean what it used to, and I don’t know if I want to even be a part of it.
I’m sorry this is so dismal, but I’m really just having a tough time with this today.