Saturday, November 3, 2012

I think I'm smiling so hard my face is going to break.





I AM HAVING SUCH A GOOD WEEK! I really think sometimes I just need to write about how thankful I am for the truly awesome things God has put in my life. So, that is what today is. :)

First,  MY FINANCIAL AID/SCHOLARSHIP IS BEING PROCESSED FOR SCHOOL! Finally! I've had some issues with my paperwork for the past three months, but someone pulled their head out of their rear and fixed it for me! :))) This is exciting because it's one more semester I am not in debt. It's going to be processed late, which is not my fault, and will cost me about $70, but it's getting processed and that is all that matters to me at this moment.

Second, I have an amazing boyfriend. I am so blessed. I know lots of girls do those ridiculous "OH EM GEE I AM SO IN LOVE" posts, but that's not what this is. A little (***Edit, a BIG) bit of back story on my relationship with Darling: we met in middle school. Well, he was a Freshman and I was in eighth grade. Like, acne ridden; giant, yield sign shaped, frizzy, blonde hair; patterned jeans days of middle school. Not my most shining moment. We met at a football game and he "stole" my cell phone. You know, that ridiculously childish game where a guy takes something and the girl flirts to get it back. Admit it. We have all done it. Anyway, we went to several middle school and varsity football games together and I even watched him play some Freshman games. He was my first kiss. We tried the whole dating thing and it just didn't work out. I got hurt and retaliated and didn't speak to him for several months.

Insert The First Long-Term Boyfriend I Ever Had (we shall call him "Allen" because that's my last name, and I am running out of clever and creative pseudo names). "Allen" and I dated for a little bit in eighth grade, but we were better friends because he was going to be home-schooled for his freshman year. We off-and-on dated until the end of sophomore year and then dated for around two years until my Freshman year in college. While all this was going on, Darling and I would still talk and hangout. There were many nights where we would talk from 8 in the evening until 2, 3, or 4 in the morning and then get up and go to school the next day. It was never dirty or crass, just two kids getting to know one another and developing a friendship that would last quite some time. We went to some movies and football games in high school, but could never really get the hang of dating. I don't mean for this to sound rude, but he just wasn't ready for a relationship, and I wasn't ok with "friends that kiss" (not to be confused with "friends with benefits").

I tried to do the whole "friends that kiss" thing, but I hated it, and I hated myself for trying. I would get hurt when he would talk about other girls he was thinking about dating, and he really, truly had no idea he was hurting me. I want to make that extremely clear. He never even had an inkling that he was slowly killing me. I made sure he thought I was ok with it. After an incident Darling and I got into a HUGE fight, and I swore I would never speak to him again. Then I started dating "Allen" exclusively and completely lost touch with Darling for almost two years.

It was miserable not being able to talk to a guy that I had been so close with for so long. I hated not being able to call and ask how he was, or what college he wanted to go to, or what he wanted to do with his life. I was watching him slowly disappear from my life like sidewalk chalk in the rain. After "Allen" and I broke up for good, Darling sent me a text out of the blue. He used to do that a lot. It was like he always knew when I was upset and needed someone to be on my side. He had been in a relationship with a girl for the past year, and they were happy. I was truly happy that he had found someone that made him happy. It was then that I realized our friendship was too great to ruin with my pride. We talked a few times in the months after that, but nothing serious.

Several months after that Jacob and his girlfriend broke up. He was upset, as he should have been. They had been together a long time. We decided to meet for coffee a few nights later. Seeing him for the first time in so long was really great. I hadn't realized how much I missed him. We had both grown up so much from those first few years that we hardly knew each other anymore. We met a few more times, and the rest really kind of fell into place. God put him back in my life as a sweet little reminder that His timing is sovereign. We tried to make it work ourselves, but all I needed to do was wait. I don't know what God has in store for us, but I do know that I am completely in awe of the wonderful man God has blessed me with. I'm not the most patient person, but I am more than willing to wait and see what the future holds for us. He really is the greatest guy. Several of my friends have not been super supportive of us because of the way the past went, and honestly, you can say "people don't change" as much as you want, but it really is amazing what time and maturity can do to people. We're both completely different, and I really thank God for that. :)

Third, and finally, I'm no longer sick, which makes me want to do the happy dance. I feel like I have enough energy to power all the houses that got hit by Sandy. I am so in love with my life right now I can hardly stand it.

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^^^ That's what my happy dance looks like.


1 comment:

  1. ...needs an edit--Personal Foul against name calling...

    ReplyDelete